New Video Game Redefines “Singles Match”

Jun 28th, 2011No Comments

A singles match of ping-pong involves two players, two racquets, a ball, and a table… that is until now. The Japanese video game producer, Happinet, is redefining the term “singles match” with their release of “Hyper Ping Pong.”

I’m not exactly sure where to begin.

For starters, Hyper Ping Pong manages to do away with all the complications that stand between a person and a riveting match of ping-pong. No more pesky balls, tables, and opponents. Who needs them?! Hyper Ping Pong replaces them with a single paddle for one player. As the player swings the paddle, the game produces realistic sounds that simulate a rally with a non-existent Player Two. In order to time your returns properly, a player must listen for the sound and speed of the ball. A motion sensor in the paddle then detects whether or not you “hit” the non-existent ball.

You really have to see it to believe it.

Three ridiculous observations about this video:

First of all, this woman must be the world champion of non-existent virtual table tennis. I mean seriously, look at her form. Brilliantly switching between forehand slams and backhand slapaways—-there is no match for a player of her stature. Plus, she does it all while giggling and smiling like a 5-year old on Christmas; she truly is the face of the most unimportant sport in the world.

Secondly, the inventor of the game states that their slogan is “Go with the Rhythm” adding that Hyper Ping Pong is great for parties “as the people around you will get excited” while they watch. You know what…. he’s absolutely right. Why would I want to play this game when I could just watch people make fools out of themselves? This is obviously the purpose of the game. Their slogan therefore is all wrong… it should really be “making a fool of yourself has never been so easy.”

Finally, this video had shattered a life long dream of mine. I’ve always wanted to play ping-pong against a male ballerina in red shoes. But I guess he’s too busy playing against himself. Clearly, I must not have a good enough imagination. I mean WHERE are those shots landing? For years I have tried to execute the overhead tap and the between the legs flip to no avail. He just makes it seem so effortless while mocking his non-existent opponent with crazy cool dance moves. It’s truly remarkable. I just have one question for the people at Happinet: Is this non-existent table regulation size?

Maybe I’m being close-minded, but I just don’t see the fun in this. Keep ping-pong the way it is: a remarkable sport between two players with real racquets, real balls, and real tables. Go out and find people to play with. After all, it is the second highest participatory sport in the world.